October Newsletter 2013
Waiting?
A few days ago, whilst I watered the pot plants in the back yard, I noticed a self-sown lettuce that had been growing quietly during the winter months, and was now looking full and ready to eat. “I’ll pick that soon and pop it in a bag in the fridge so it stays fresh and use it in a salad”, I thought to myself, imagining grabbing it firmly at the base and twisting off the whole head of lettuce at once.
Today, as I hung out the washing in a swift, warm breeze, I saw that the lettuce was now past it’s best days, and it’s large juicy leaves had wilted, leaving a bitter stalk. I had waited too long.
I felt a quick rise of frustration and an old “tape” started in my head. “Why didn’t I take action and pick it? What stopped me? I hesitated and lost - again!”. I felt a familiar wave of guilt that I had let the plant go to waste. And then I had to have a wry laugh at myself. It has been a regular pattern since I was a little girl to wait. I was in the habit of saving my chocolate Easter eggs so long, they became white and unappealing by the time I unwrapped their colourful foil. I have kept special hand cream until it became congealed and sour. Saved fancy cheeses, waiting for the right dinner party, only to find the use-by date long passed. Waiting for the right time to indulge. Waiting too long.
Sometimes I have saved something for the right moment and it has been worth the wait. Saving the last chapter of a good book until I have a quiet time to savour it. Saving some chocolate until the night that I “need” a chocolate fix and will appreciate it. But when I really think about it, more often than not, my saving and waiting has meant that I haven’t got the best use out of something, I have saved it so long it is out of date, out of fashion or the excitement has just gone.
As we grow older and sometimes wiser, we do well to take the time to observe which habits serve us well and which would be better off challenged. Our most tenacious habits can be at work in so many parts of lives and go undetected unless we open ourselves up honestly to other ways of doing things and question the patterns that repeat on us. First becoming aware, then deciding to change, connecting to the benefits that will come to us, trying out some alternative behaviours and so the process goes. Changing slowly and compassionately, giving ourselves a pat on the back when we try something new, being kind to ourselves when we repeat old patterns. Starting again.
As I went for a luxuriously long, sunny walk with my little dog today, I noticed some beautiful gardens and homes and also noticed my reaction to them. Sometimes a stab of yearning or jealousy and a hope that I will have such a garden of my own one day. “When I get there - to the time in the future, when everything is in place, lined up, when the time is right.” Suddenly I felt something new, something that is growing stronger and stronger as the years go by and I reap the benefits of taking action in my life - real action connected with my deeply personal vision and goals - I felt “This time is now! What am I waiting for? I am lucky to have a home of my own, a place to nurture and polish, a life that I have nourished and developed. I want to claim my happiness and satisfaction - now”.
I have no need to wait. I am claiming my prize now.
There are many things that I am happy to say I don’t wait for.
I don’t wait:
- to tell my children that I love them.
- before I cuddle my dog.
- to smell a rose that looks inviting.
- to sing a song when one comes to mind.
I am lucky that I have had many wonderful mentors and teachers to encourage me to explore my inner world and the things I would change, and to give me the tools to begin to change them.
If there are things you would like to do, or to change, don’t wait. What would you be waiting for? The perfect time? Do them now - this is the only time we have.
What would you like to do?
P.S. I got the idea for this newsletter today - and here it is, I didn’t wait to write it!
Kind regards,
Fiona Claire.
Work with me: Individual Counselling, Creativity and Therapeutic Singing and Songwriting Sessions by appointment. Email: fionaclaire@optusnet.com.au or call 0437 985 132
